would you be willing to die for your belief in Jesus Christ as the One and ONLY Lord of Lords and God of Gods?  they had to in the time of Domitian's rule...and in other times...and in some places even today... what if one day it's like that here...in Canada, in the U.S....

is living for the truth that we have come to know in Christ Jesus worth giving up all else that is merely temporary anyhow? 

i'm beginning to understand...that it must be...and why.

still kinda scary, but it...makes sense now

staying alive and healthy...or simply 'comfortable'...these are NOT the most important things...how sad if they were

can i live differently now that i am beginning to understand? ...is there really an option? 

despite the crazy busyness of these past weeks, with youth camp followed by surprise family visits...it really was nice to have time to spend with my family, even if there were only small bits of time that we could find to squeeze in outings (Shannon Falls is SOOOOOOOOOO beautiful, and the hike there is so much easier than the Grouse Grind...should go there more often).  wish i could've stayed a bit more emotionally cool sunday morning, but everyone is very understanding and forgiving, so...everything's still okay with planning for missions and keeping the ministry afloat at ecbc...

hmm...don't have much energy tonight to say a lot, but i thought i should try to get my feet wet in writing again...hopefully, i can add more soon (and more regularly...)

SO...lots of NEW things in my life..not enough time to really absorb it all in yet, but i'm getting there  =)

-new home (and though i don't know how long we will get to stay here, i REALLY like it here!!!)...with new workout room and pool and sauna (the hottub's not quite hot enough yet, and the steam room has no steam as of now...)

-new school (i'm in 1 class at UBC with the clinical psych professor i've been wanting to meet ever since coming to vancouver -- he specializes in studying 'perfectionism')

-new sunday evening worship service

-new monday night community group

-new saturday discipleship book I class

-new helper with HSSS

-lots of new students in YL, Burnaby South Christian Club and HSSS

-new sense of courage and purpose in being God's servant and mouthpiece

-oh, yeah...yesterday i got myself a new Bible too, one that's big enough to start marking up and taking notes for discipleship class  =)

...ummm, i think that's all the big ones.

anyhow, i just wanted to take the time (since i haven't yet) to really take inventory of all God is doing in my life right now...how He is definitely continuing to make my life "to the full"...trials and blessings and all wrapped together....

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 34:7

wow, i miss my friends (2 in particular) like crazy....

i'm not sure that the friendships can be patched up over the phone though.  i already know email's not gonna cut it.  i wish i could schedule an extended visit home, and just focus on loving them and catching up on life...it's been soooo long.

it's funny how bdays--when you're supposed to be "happy"--are the hardest days for me to be happy.  that, and new year's (the other day you're supposed to be "happy"). 

i'm already starting to feel better though.  so, i know that by tomorrow, and especially by this weekend, it'll be easier to call people back who tried to wish me happy birthday today.

i think, though, that it's better to be happy 364 days (or 363 days) out of the year versus only 1 or 2 days a year.

overall, i'm very happy with life...God has definitely blessed me. 

but yeah, i miss my girlfriends...a LOT...

hmm....so I'm thinking lots about the words to that song...

"Jesus, I believe in You...and I would go...to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth...for You..."

well, i've moved to the ends of North America...well, kinda (from the midwest U.S. to Vancouver....) --> but I'm not sure that that's what's meant, cuz Vancouver is one of those cities people move to regardless of whether or not they are a Christian, what with it being one of the most liveable and beautiful cities in the world...

but, perhaps, "going to the ends of the earth" is more of a metaphor...or at least it CAN be, in addition to also being taken literally...like, "going out of my way" to do things such that my life is lived for God and His will rather than my own limited vision and desires....

i have to keep wondering..."how far am i willing to go?"

my friend sharon (her birthday was yesterday) -- she literally flew half way around the world as a teenager to check up on me in the darkest moments of my life....

"how far am i willing to go?"  "how much am i willing to sacrifice...of myself, my money, my comforts....?"

i want to say "to the ends of the earth"...i want to say "God, i give you EVERYthing that i am and have..." ...but if i say this, once and for all, is "it" as the desire of my heart for my life...

i don't want to be found out to be a liar....or to be a "deserter" now and/or later on in life, ever.... 

Jesus, tell me where to go...and i will go...tell me what to do...and i will do that (and sacrifice whatever else needs to be sacrificed so that Your will may be done first and foremost)

Without Your Word, i lack the courage, the conviction, the ability and the power, to move in any worthwhile direction....

And to my Friends and Family in Christ out there...would you pray for me, hold me accountable...help me discern God's Word and Guidance and Direction?  and would you help me know how to do the same for you?